hellloooo....miss monday! here am i......we meet again.

yeah,,,,it's quite boring living alone in my in-law's house since school holiday started. Pergerakan juga terbatas, semua yang aku suka lakukan terpaksa juga di hadkan sebab nak jaga hati dan pandangan orang. But it's very difficult to just pretend to be somebody else since it's not matching me at all. Also, it getting more irritating when people start to give me an unfair judgement. Just like what i thought............
Today just like always.................boring Monday   but Thank you YA  ALLAH cause you give me one more chance to be here, on YOUR world. 

I'm just curios , is it called "complaining" when i wrote everything down here? everything that i felt in my heart? Sometime people can easily get me wrong when i'm talking. So, i guest it is the best way to spit out all my poisonous things in my heart. Also, to make sure no one will get hurt. 

Ahhhhh........susahnya bila kita terpaksa melakukannya sendirian. Guest what, I just thinking ...........i think i want to run away from here, from  everything and just do it what i thinks it perfectly match me. But it finally just end up by nothing. Am i not brave enough to take any actions? I guests i'm not confidence enough to protect me, my self but just end up being soooooo selfish. 

"oHHHHHHHHHHH....is that true?"
" Am i being so selfish lately ?"
" Yeahhh,,  I guest."

Back to the story, aku cuma tidak suka berada di tempat di mana aku tidak menjadi diri aku dan apa yang aku lakukan hanyalah lari jika aku tak suka, lari jika aku rasa tak betul, lari jika aku rasa tersisih. Aku takut nak berdepan realiti. Bila berada di tempat orang semua kena fikir 2,3 kali bila melakukan sesuatu. Aku rasa semua benda aku akan mintak izin dahulu dan itu buat orang rasa pelik dan bengang juga rasanya. Aku cuma sudah biasa macam tu, nak buat macam mana. Bukan sebarangan tindakan yang aku buat jika melibatkan hak orang lain. Begitu juga aku, cuma bila aku dah bagi green light dari mula, it's ok to not to tell me 1st jika nak guna barang2 aku. 

Ok...thanks to this white plain space to give me sometime  to draw something.

Heyyyyy,,, next Monday, i think i can tell u this : Starting today onward,  I will facing you bravely and i hope i'll be more confidence and stronger. yeah i know we'll know nothing bout what we'll be facing in next next next day but it's not wrong though to be prepared for it because i believe for one thing :

THE MIRACLE MAY HAPPEN for THOSE PEOPLE WHO NEVER GIVE UP TO BE BETTER.

piece of my wish 

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